Just put one foot in front of the other and trust

We are in a place of turbulence in our world. Energetically we may feel bogged down, stuck, depressed, exhausted, irritable, and maybe even a little bit “crazy”. There is a lot of change afoot internally (within our own psyche) and externally (within Humanity) and it is challenging us big time.

I was going through some photos and found this one of me celebrating when I reached the summit on Huayna Picchu or Wayna Picchu. It is the mountain that sits next to Machu Picchu in Peru. I had signed up for the 12-12-12 ceremony with Linda Star Wolf, Brad Collins, and Vera Lopez. It was powerful and transformative. Yet, it was Wayna Picchu that kicked my butt. I remember sitting in the lobby of our hotel when our group was asked if we wanted to climb Wayna Picchu on 12-13-12. It was an added expense. I declined for several reasons, but one was the money. Vera challenged me, saying this was an initiation and as long I was here, I should climb it, and offered to loan me the money for it. She shared a bit about her journey, telling me how she felt she wasn’t going to make it and burst into tears often along with the others that made the climb with her. I am not one to resist a challenge. Wayna Picchu used to be open to the public without fees but with so many people visiting Machu Picchu and her sister Wayna Picchu, there were more accidents and deaths on Wayna Picchu with folks falling off the mountain. So, they limited numbers and charged admission to keep track of folks. Thus, I bought a ticket and joined a small number of our group that said “yes” to climbing this tall mountain.

The rain started just as we entered through the gate after paying our admission fee. I put on my yellow raincoat just as the wind picked up, twisting the coat every which way as I tried my best to cover my backpack, finally tying it around my waist. Some of our group sailed up the steep, narrow steps while a few others and I methodically and deliberately placed one foot in front of the other on the slippery rock steps as we climbed. Some of the steps were massive, and for them we had to pull ourselves up by holding on to steel ropes, rocks, anything that could help propel us up the mountain. Some steps were tiny, narrow three-inches-wide. We were told the native people would soar up these steps, like they were floating to the top. I could imagine they were in the most prime physical condition. I, on the other hand, was not in good condition. My legs, knees, and thighs began to ache. My breath labored as I tried to support the pounding my heart was experiencing. I was drenched from the ceaseless, pouring rain. It was so overcast, that there was essentially no visibility, and I could not see past the step in front of me. In many ways, I was grateful for this, as I did not want to know how close we were to the edge of the cliff.

I wanted to give up. Thankfully, I was not alone as a few women were with me, plugging along with no idea when we would reach the summit. There is support in numbers. I thought of Vera sharing her experience of “initiation” and how she would break down in tears. I sucked it up but was so miserable I wanted to just break down in tears too. It was just too hard.

How many times have you reached that point where you just couldn’t do it anymore? Where it was just too darn hard? Too much of a challenge? Had no understanding of when it would end? Wanted to cry? Scream? Give up? I think we all experience things in our lives that test us. Yet we find some resilience, or we search for it in the most trying of times, and just put one foot in front of the other and “trust”. We really need to trust we will make it. That it will be ok. That we will be changed. That we will find the courage and conviction to do what is in integrity for us. That we will survive. That we will reach the summit soon.

At each turn around the spiral path up the mountain, I hoped I would see the summit. Many times the curve in the path just led to another curve propelling me upward. Until one particular curve and there she was. THE SUMMIT. This photo is of that moment!